is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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