I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I can't put those talents on a resume
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
