At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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