I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Everyone says I win the strip club
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You were trust falling into bushes
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