You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
