it was like eating out sand paper
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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