i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
