It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
