Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i need some magic done to my vagina
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
