are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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