that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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