Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
