Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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