I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
