I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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