can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
