I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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