the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
