Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
