sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
