Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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