Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
