Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
