I'm so fucking centered right now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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