She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
