The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
