Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
