did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
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whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this just has baby written all over it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
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Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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