Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
