bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
