he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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