dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
