I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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