'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I will pee on everything he values.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
