Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
