dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
