Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
