i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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