She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
