just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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