We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
