Already got asked if we're dating
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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