the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Vodka?
Forever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
