I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize