i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
