I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
