I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
