you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
