Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
