How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
