I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
