Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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