he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
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If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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