Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
