It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't think brook has ever known best
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
why is half of my head shaved?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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