I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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