I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You pole danced in your parka.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
