I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
