I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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