garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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