It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
