She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I AM VODKA MAN
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize