...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
