I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
