There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
