There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
