why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
