you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you never un-have a 4some
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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