ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can you bring me the toilet please
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
